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What’s a sales rep’s favorite word? "Yes!"

Closing a sale ends with a 'Yes'. But to get to that point, you need to get inside your customers’ heads to:

  • Understand their individual needs so you can demonstrate how your product will help them.
  • Anticipate and overcome objections and deal with them in a way that satisfies the prospect.
  • Prepare to negotiate on factors like terms, conditions, price, or other variables so each party is satisfied with the potential deal.

Sales reps as psychologists

Harvard professor Gerald Zaltman found that about 95% of purchase decisions take place in the subconscious mind, which means you need to connect with buyers emotionally before logic even gets a look-in (Zaltman, 2003).

Every good salesperson, therefore, has a solid grasp of psychology and its concepts. Here, we’ll run through the eight key psychological concepts that come into play during the sales process, and how you can use them strategically to grow your sales.

Get the playbook

1 - The Reciprocity Principle

One of the first social norms we’re taught from childhood is to say ‘thank you’ when someone is kind to you or gives you a gift. This is the reciprocity principle at a very basic level, and a powerful one that we carry into our adult lives.

You do me, I’ll do you

In practice, it means that most people feel obliged to return a favor (even if we didn’t request the favor in the first place).

Reciprocity is one of the core principles behind sales and marketing: you’re essentially giving away advice and resources that are valuable to customers and potential customers. This encourages them to give you their contact details, sign-up to your mailing list and, hopefully, spend money with you in future.

Lesson

Reciprocity comes into play in sales because when you do something for a prospective customer, it makes it easier for them to do something for you in return. For example, if a sales rep approaches a prospect with generous intent and is able to offer something of value - such as advice, resources like content, or a free trial - this is a step towards engaging in conversation and developing into genuine leads.

This works best when it’s offered:

  • Before asking them for anything in return (now they’re indebted to you)
  • Exclusive and personalized (making them feel special)

2 - The Liking Principle

Sometimes it's not about what's being asked but rather about who is doing the asking. It won’t come as any surprise that people find it easier to say no to a stranger than to someone they know and like. For example, if a friend asked you to review and give feedback on their LinkedIn profile, you’d probably be more willing than if a stranger asked you to do the same.

Let’s go retro

Research has shown that this partly accounts for the success of demonstration parties, which began Tupperware in the 50s and 60s (ask your nan), and continues with Avon, Ann Summers and Body Shop parties, where hosts invite friends and family to their homes to demonstrate and sell products for a commission. With party games and snacks, this sales model is based on social activity as direct sales.

Tupperware party
Image courtesy of NostagliaCentral.com

Lesson

Find common ground. Establish a friendly, authentic and approachable style; ask questions to show you’re genuinely interested in their needs and how you can help them (and, of course, to inform your sales tactics and positioning). Show how you identify with your prospect and create a connection. If you've taken time to get to know your prospective customers and build some rapport, it will be much easier for them to say yes to you.

3 - The Social Proof Principle

This is the concept that when people are not sure what action to take, they often look to the behavior or opinions of others to guide them - especially their peers. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Nielsen’s Global Trust in Advertising report found that 89% of consumers trust recommendations from people they know more than any other channel (Nielsen, 2021).

And take the example of online reviews or recommendations; according to a Pew Research Center survey: an eye-opening 84% of Americans trust online reviews on sites such as Amazon, Tripadvisor and Trustpilot as much as a personal recommendation.

We’ve got so much in common!

Belonging to a group with shared characteristics appeals to our primitive needs to feel safe and establish social identity. From supporters of a particular football team, to those who can afford to demonstrate their status by owning a Rolex, we’re all pack animals at heart.

Lesson

In general, people are more comfortable ‘going with the crowd’. From a sales point of view, this is where storytelling and case studies come in: when people just like your customers are using a product and found success, it makes them much more likely to consider using it themselves.

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4 - The Authority Principle

It almost goes without saying, sales reps need to know their products inside out - not just the technical features, but the benefits it offers to customers, how it sits in the market alongside competitors, etc. But being able to actually demonstrate that credibility is exceptionally important. We need to feel that the person we’re talking to is an expert and that the advice they give is of real value, rather than ‘just a sales pitch’.

Oh, just forget it then...

People seek reassurance that they are making the right decision, whether that’s to continue to engage with the initial conversion, or making the actual decision to purchase. They want to be guided away from the uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty and choice paralysis (where there are so many options to choose from, it's easier to make no decision at all).

Lesson

Empower your salespeople by arming them with simple narratives supported by whiteboards, use cases, storytelling. Encourage them to establish and demonstrate thought leadership through their activity on LinkedIn and other online communities. Make sure they’re confident in their knowledge of your product and its benefits, as well as how to differentiate it convincingly from competitors. Social media is another important tool for developing personal and professional credibility, so encourage profile optimization, and the writing and sharing of high-quality content.

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5 - The Consistency Principle

Consistency is a compliance technique that works on the basis that people prefer not to contradict themselves in both actions and beliefs, both from a personal and social point of view. The need for us to feel good about ourselves is such that we want to be seen to be living up to prior choices and commitments.

It’s behind what’s known as the ‘foot-in-the-door’ sales technique (a nod back to the days of door-to-door sales), which is based on the idea that if you can get someone to agree to a small initial request, they will be more likely to agree further down the line to a more significant request, which they would not have agreed to had they been asked outright. The theory is that agreeing to a small favor in the first instance makes someone feel good about themselves (positive self-perception), which they then feel compelled to maintain.

Once you’re in, you’re in

Have you ever been stopped in the street and asked to take part in a survey that will ‘take about two minutes’? Once you’ve stopped and engaged with them, most people will find it psychologically difficult to disengage when the researcher is still asking questions five minutes into the conversation because they have already committed to helping them out. It would seem rude.

Another interpretation is in online remarketing. How often do you see ads following you for sites you’ve previously visited, but not made a purchase? These ads remind you that you invested time in browsing that site - you chose to and you accepted their cookies - and it’s effective in persuading people to return and possibly make a purchase this time (or a further purchase if they’re existing customers).

Lesson

Coach salespeople on how to ask the relevant questions to engage consistency. If a prospect has given their email address (your small request) in order to download your guide to choosing accounting software, you might ask them questions about their current accountancy pain-points and the effect they’re having on their business and profits (the bigger request). This creates a conversion and draws them deeper into revealing information to help the sales rep nurture the sale.

6 - The Scarcity Principle

The fear of missing out can be a potent motivator to take action and is known as the ‘scarcity principle’. Think of those “while stocks last”, “limited offer”, and “sale must end soon!” marketing messages we see everywhere.

This principle tells us people are more motivated by what they stand to lose as opposed to what they might gain. Daniel Kahneman won a Nobel Prize for his work in this area when he proved that human beings feel the pain of loss anywhere from two to two and half times more than the joy of gaining the same thing. In other words, losing $100 hurts much more than the joy you might feel if you found $100.

It’s all about the FOMO

We also tend to assume that things that are difficult to obtain are usually better than those that are easily available, as are those that other people want. This inclination to be the one that ‘wins’ the coveted item is a strong motivator. What you think of it like this, it explains the popularity of eBay and other auction sites. It’s not just the item itself that compels people to bid, but the competition element.

Lesson

Create excitement and a feeling of urgency with limited edition opportunities or products. Highlight closing or end date for offers, and what the prospect could lose by not going with you, your company or your recommendation. You need to highlight this potential loss if you want more people to take action.

7 - The Comparison Principle

We’re naturally wired to perceive things and people into a context that’s easier to understand by thinking comparatively.

We ask ourselves questions like: is this iPhone value for money? The answer depends on what we’re comparing it with. You may think “no, because it’s more expensive than my last phone”; “yes, because it’s got more functionality than my current model which will save me time and make me productive”; or even, “yes, because it’s flashier than my manager’s so will make me look/feel better about my status”.

On the other hand…

Robert Cialdini, author of The Psychology of Persuasion, explained that if we see two things in sequence that are different from one another, we will tend to see the second one as more different from the first than it actually is. This is called ‘perceptual contrast’. He gives the example that if you lift a heavy object, followed by one that’s lighter, you’re more likely to judge the second as weighing less than if you hadn’t picked up the heavy one first.

He also tells the story of a real estate agent who deliberately showed potential buyers around houses that were in poor condition and overpriced, before showing them the one they really wanted them to buy. By contrast, the second one looked like a great deal, making customers want it more.

The salesman said: “The house [I want them to buy] looks really great after they’ve first looked at a couple of dumps.”

Lesson

We mentioned choice paralysis earlier: this issue occurs particularly when we have to select from options that are difficult to compare. We become psychologically overwhelmed - paralysed - by information with no point of reference that it’s easier to walk away than to make a decision we’re not sure about.

Don’t overwhelm a prospect with choices. Discussing two or three competitors or comparative options is often enough (especially ones that have been identified by the customer themselves). Good salespeople make the proper comparison, so customers see their product or service in the best light.

8 - The 'Because' Principle

Giving someone a reason behind a request is a powerful way of increasing the odds of them complying. Think of how often kids ask “why?”. Asking them to stop talking loudly at the movies is more likely to shut them up if you add “... because it’s spoiling the movie for other people”.

As a sales rep, you might say: “Investing in this CRM system will help achieve [your objective of] cost efficiencies because it improves internal processes to understand customer data, helping to create outstanding customer experiences that lead to higher sales and repeat business.”

Lesson

Whenever you make a suggestion to a prospective customer, back it up with a reason using “because”. Show what’s in it for them. Demonstrate how your product will help them, and use it to handle objections effectively.

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Four tips to help you get to 'Yes'

1 - Separate the people from the problem

In sales negotiations, emotions run high. Deals matter to both parties personally and professionally. The first principle of principled negotiation recognizes this reality: attack the problem, not the person across the table.

When a prospect pushes back on pricing, it's tempting to see them as difficult or cheap. Instead, view their concern as a legitimate business challenge you can solve together. Say something like, "I understand budget constraints are real. Let's explore how we can structure this to work for both of us."

This separation allows you to be soft on the person while being hard on the problem. You maintain the relationship while rigorously pursuing a solution.

2 - Focus on interests, not positions

Positions are what people say they want. Interests are why they want it. In sales, prospects often state positions like "We need a 30% discount" or "We require a six-month trial period."

Dig deeper to uncover interests. Ask "What would that discount help you achieve?" or "What concerns does the extended trial address?" You might discover they're worried about implementation risk or need to hit specific budget targets this quarter.

Once you understand interests, creative solutions emerge. Maybe you can't offer 30% off, but you can extend payment terms or include additional services that address their underlying concerns.

3 - Invent options for mutual gain

Traditional sales negotiations often feel like dividing a fixed pie. Principled negotiation expands the pie by creating value neither party initially considered.

Before entering negotiations, brainstorm multiple options that could benefit both sides. Can you bundle services differently? Adjust implementation timelines? Include performance guarantees? The key is generating possibilities without committing to them.

Present these as options to explore together: "What if we tried this approach?" This collaborative problem-solving builds trust and often reveals unexpected win-win scenarios.

4 - Insist on objective criteria

When negotiations stall, objective standards provide a path forward. Instead of battling over who has more leverage, agree on fair criteria for decision-making.

In sales, this might include industry benchmarks, market rates, company policies, or precedent from similar deals. If a prospect demands unprecedented payment terms, you might say, "Let's look at what's standard in your industry" or "Here's how we've structured similar partnerships."

Objective criteria depersonalize difficult decisions and help both parties feel the outcome is fair, even if it's not their ideal scenario.

Overcoming common obstacles in getting prospects to say 'Yes'

• When the other party uses positional bargaining

You've prepared for principled negotiation, but your prospect opens with "We'll pay X and not a penny more." They're locked into positional bargaining.

Don't take the bait. Instead of countering with your position, redirect to interests: "Help me understand what makes that number work for your business." Ask questions that uncover the reasoning behind their position.

If they persist, use the "one-text procedure." Draft a preliminary agreement addressing both parties' interests and refine it together. This shifts focus from positions to collaborative editing.

• Dealing with power imbalances

Sometimes you're negotiating with someone who holds significantly more power – a major client who knows you need their business. Principled negotiation still works, but requires adaptation.

Develop your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) before entering discussions. Know your walk-away point. This knowledge, even unspoken, changes how you negotiate.

Focus extra attention on objective criteria when power is imbalanced. Industry standards, precedents, and fair market values become your allies. It's harder for powerful parties to dismiss objective benchmarks than subjective arguments.

• Managing emotions and difficult behaviors

Negotiations can trigger strong emotions. When tensions rise, the principles become more important, not less.

If someone becomes aggressive or emotional, acknowledge their feelings without accepting their behavior: "I can see this point really matters to you. Let's make sure we address it properly." This separates the person from the problem while maintaining forward momentum.

Take breaks when needed. Sometimes a five-minute pause prevents hours spent trying to deal with the fallout from damaged relationships. Return to interests and objective criteria to depersonalize heated moments.

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Implementing 'getting to yes' in your sales process

Training your team on principled negotiation

Start by shifting your team's mindset from "winning" to "problem-solving." Run workshops where reps practice identifying interests behind positions using real customer scenarios.

Create role-play exercises where one person states firm positions while their partner uncovers underlying interests. Film these sessions – watching themselves helps reps recognize when they slip into positional bargaining.

Build principled negotiation into your sales methodology. Add fields in your CRM for capturing customer interests, not just requirements. Review these in deal coaching sessions to ensure reps look beyond surface positions.

Creating negotiation playbooks

Document common negotiation scenarios with principled approaches. For each scenario, outline:

  • Typical positions customers take
  • Likely interests behind those positions
  • Options for mutual gain
  • Relevant objective criteria

For example, when customers demand extended pilots, your playbook might reveal their interest is risk mitigation. Options could include success guarantees, phased rollouts, or reference calls instead of lengthy trials.

Update playbooks quarterly based on successful negotiations. Share stories of creative solutions that addressed both parties' interests.

Measuring success beyond win rates

Traditional sales metrics don't capture principled negotiation success. Track relationship quality and deal sustainability alongside close rates.

Monitor how often deals require renegotiation or result in early termination. Principled negotiations should produce more stable, satisfied customers. Survey customers post-sale about their negotiation experience.

Measure value creation, not just value capture. Did negotiations uncover new use cases? Lead to expanded partnerships? These outcomes indicate successful interest-based negotiation that benefits everyone long-term.

Conclusion

Familiarity with these eight principles is valuable throughout the various stages of the sales cycle to improve engagement, relationship development and, ultimately, your sales figures. For now, consider how you currently sell and how you might incorporate them into your sales process.

Master the psychology of sales with Pro+ Membership

You've just learned eight powerful psychological principles and the 'Getting to Yes' negotiation framework. But knowing these concepts is just the beginning. To truly excel, you need to practice, refine, and continuously expand your expertise.

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